


Free of Doubt

by Alexwritesfics



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Thomas-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6385231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexwritesfics/pseuds/Alexwritesfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas tends to self-sabotage. But not now, not tonight, and hopefully never again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free of Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeyyyyy
> 
> First off, I know I've got other projects to be working in, but I have to ease myself back into it. This fandom's been quiet for a bit but I should still be making content for it every once in a while so stick around if you're willing. Apologies for any mistakes, this was written quite fast, especially the final part.

_It's not right._

Thomas curled further into the warmth of Andy, feeling arms slip around him before growing heavy with fatigue.

Andy's breathing slowed. Thomas could feel both of their minds turning to sleep.

_LEAVE, damnit. It's not right. He's too young to understand this risk, you're too reckless and foolish to let it go._

Sweat had cooled on their skin. The night was bitterly cold, winter seeping in through the cracks of late autumn, but Thomas didn't want for heat with Andy filling his senses, holding him tight but not too tight. Thomas reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes.

_This is silly. Not just silly, it's dangerous._

Andy sighed against Thomas' chest, making Thomas' skin prickle. Thomas rested his chin briefly on Andy's wavy-haired head. It smelled of pomade, a cheaper brand that what Thomas used to, but it filled Thomas' heart with that same all-consuming warmth.

_He's not interested, not really. He's confused._

'I love you, y'know.' Andy's words burned even further into Thomas' brain when the footman continued with: '...And I'm not sorry for it.'

_He doesn't understand what he's saying. And you're too jaded to know how to love him back. Not in the way he deserves, anyway._

Thomas closed his eyes, feeling Andy's heartbeat against his skin.

_He's just someone for you to hold at night, and that's not fair, it's never fair._

But that wasn't true, was it? Thomas held Andy at night for different reasons. Actually, one singular, definitive reason. The "I love you" that followed this realisation flowed easily from Thomas' slightly kiss-swollen lips, and came from a softer, gentler part in his soul that he'd previously thought to be untouched.

_This can't last._

But they would try.

_It's not right._

Then why did it feel pure, something so far from wrong that Thomas couldn't label it as such anymore?

_Leave._

Thomas stayed.


End file.
